I remember a time in my junior year of college when the world felt like it was falling apart. I was 20, had just returned from a year abroad, was missing my friends terribly, my boyfriend had broken up with me, and my weekly bible study (the only constant and reliable thing in my life at the time) suddenly ended due to the leader’s scheduling conflicts. I also remember feeling incredibly confused about my future and was not quite sure how to become an adult. I felt disconnected from life, friends, love, and myself for weeks, and I wondered if I would ever feel “happy” again.
If you are in your early 20’s, I’m sure you have had days that you have felt the same way. The transition into adulthood is incredibly difficult and confusing, however, I believe it is one of the most growth producing times in life. Your identity as a teenager and one who is dependent on others for survival is strangely wiped away and all that remains is a confusing void of who you once were and who you want to become.
If you are lucky, your parents have taught you some survival skills like how to find a job, how to budget your money, and how to pump gas into your car, but if you are like the majority of the population, you probably enter the transition to adulthood lacking productive ideas about how to be a successful adult. All the years of hearing “you can become whatever you want” now seem incredibly unfulfilling because “becoming whatever you want” is much more difficult than it seemed when you were five and dreaming about becoming an architect or marine biologist. The dream has now become reality, and for some, the reality looks drastically different than the dream.
If you find yourself struggling in the space between being a dependent teenager and a successful adult, know that you are not alone and that your experience is incredibly common. I encourage you to ask yourself some of the questions listed below as you begin to discover your ideas about being an adult and having a successful future.
- What did you learn from your parents about being an adult?
- Do you agree with what they taught you or have shown you through their actions about being an adult?
- What would you do differently?
- Who are your adult role models?
- What is attractive about your role models that you would like in your own adulthood?
- What is the scariest part of becoming an adult?
- Have you been scared of this before?
- Who can you rely on as you become an adult? Your parents, relatives, friends, no one?
- What is one adult quality you already possess?
Asking yourself these questions will help develop your ideas about being an adult and may help clarify who you want to become. Understanding your ideas about being an adult is the first step in becoming an adult. Most likely, you already have some adult qualities and are developing others as you continue to grow. If you are experiencing extreme fear and difficulty in your transition to adulthood, I encourage you to speak with an Indianapolis counselor who can help assist you in your growth. The Lotus Group has many counselors who understand your confusion and fear and are ready and willing to join you on your journey.
Kristie L. Watts Lotus Group Fishers, IN 595-5555