These days, entitlement is a popular term. If you work with children or young adults, you’ve either heard this term or used it yourself. Many people fear that this generation is a generation that doesn’t know how to work hard and feels as if everyone owes them something. Some of the most powerful family counseling is what happens every day with parents doing the best they can with their children. At Lotus Group, our counselors want to help empower parents to be parents to the best of their ability.
Helping kids learn gratefulness is a tough job. Parents are under enormous pressures. We have to raise kids to be smart, polite, athletically gifted, responsible, honest, kind, gentle, and patient. They have to be prepared for the best colleges, earn a full-ride scholarship to those colleges, and compete for the highest paying jobs. And these are just qualities we have to teach them by the time they are five years old.
Teaching children to be thankful is tough, but possible. Being thankful does wonders for the brain, body, and soul. People like to be around someone who is grateful for the little things. Here are some tips that you can begin this holiday season and continue the whole year through:
MODEL IT – Talking about things for which you are thankful sets the tone. If you operate from a “glass is half-empty” perspective, you are teaching your children to be negative and complain. Try looking at the brighter side of situations and pointing those out to your child.
A LITTLE HARD WORK NEVER KILLED ANYONE – There was a day when kids earned money for penny candy at the local drug store by mowing lawns, walking dogs, or babysitting. Our parents reminded us that money didn’t grow on trees. Give your children chores and make them earn money for that new toy or video game. If we bend over backward to buy them the latest and greatest thing on the market, they will not value your work for that money or the purchase.
PRACTICE HELPING OTHERS TOGETHER – When we allow our children to see others who are less fortunate, it helps them learn to appreciate the ways in which they have been blessed. Look for opportunities at your church, civic organizations and community agencies in which you can serve with your children. Local food pantries, clothing resale stores, and crisis pregnancy centers often look for help stocking shelves or serving food. You can also sponsor a child in another country or take a short-term or long-term mission trip. Or, maybe we can give up a gift or two during this holiday season and give something of value to someone in need.
DON’T RUSH IN TO MEET EVERY “NEED” – The words “need” and “want” are often used interchangeably, but they are very different. Many times we say we “need” a new outfit or we “need” a new car, but when we really ask if ourselves if we truly need it, we often realize we only want it. If we rush in to meet every “need” our children have, they will not know how to delay gratification, earn the things they really want, or how to distinguish a want from a true need.
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS WITH YOUR CHILDREN – Make it a practice to daily talk about the things in your lives for which you are grateful. Maybe this takes place around the dinner table or in the car on the way to school. Wherever. Whenever. Talking about even the smallest things for which you are thankful (blue skies, green grass, snow, health, family, etc;) teaches our kids to appreciate the little things, which will help them appreciate the bigger things.
Thankfulness is contagious and can be one of the best gifts we can give to this generation of kids. Start early, share often, and practice daily. With practice, being thankful can become a lifestyle that will last an entire lifetime.