We have “Silent Saturdays” at soccer now. This phenomenon came about because parents and over-zealous fans were constantly yelling at their kids and the referees during the games. You might think these Silent Saturdays were held for the high school team. Not so…they were for the 5-and-6-year-old league. Now, on this one Saturday a season, only coaches and refs are allowed to make noise.
The original purpose behind having leagues for younger and younger kids was to promote exercise, learning to play as a team, and learning self-control through submitting to the authority of a coach and the rules of play. Somewhere along the line some parents have bought into the ludicrous idea that these leagues are training their Kindergartners for the World Cup or World Series.
There are three main problems with kids and sports:
1. The kids are at risk for being over-programed.
Christmas breaks have gone by the wayside for many students. What used to consist of two or three weeks off for the Christmas holiday and family traditions is now replaced with practices, conditioning, and games a day or two before or after Christmas. Schools used to avoid scheduling practices on Sundays or Wednesday nights because those days were, regardless of your religious faith, set aside as days of rest or days to engage in other familial, civic, or religious activities that was deemed healthy for students. No day is off limits now.
2. The kids are under too much pressure.
The kids are now also subject to way more pressure than is advantageous. While a little competition can be healthy, having a kid being pressured to be perfect in his form or performance and taking the fun out of the game because he gets grilled on the way home for not scoring a goal or getting the other player out at third can be extremely harmful. Parents need to realize that the early leagues are to teach the kids how to play, get them active, and help them learn how to work as a member of a team and submit to the authority of the rules of the game and the coach. To expect her to always stick her landing in gymnastics or be the prima ballerina who is always front and center sends her the message that if she’s not the best, she’s not good enough. This shouldn’t be the case. We need to encourage the kids to do their best and to be good sports. These are great life lessons they’ll need to take with them.
3. Many programs are promoting the “everyone is a winner” mentality.
Gone are the days of first, second, and third place ribbons and trophies. Now everyone gets a “participation” award so that no one gets their feelings hurt. The cold hard truth is that not everyone is going to be the best. There will always be someone who will come along who will hit the ball farther, run faster, dance better. We need to praise our kids for the effort they put in, not their achievements. It’s their efforts that earn them those achievements, but what if they give it their best and don’t win or place first? If we only praise their accomplishments, when they “fail” to be the best, their self-esteem will take a hit.
Sports can be a great outlet for kids. The leagues can promote both mental and physical health, but parents need to be aware of the pitfalls and do their best to avoid them, lest they request the assistance of a good family counselor.