Ah…summertime. Many people spend their entire winters dreaming of the smell of ocean air, sand between their toes, and sipping a cool drink under an umbrella. Summertime brings a break from school, family vacations, and Kodak moments full of fun and friends.
Summertime may also bring along with it some anxiety for some folks. Many women diet like crazy to get ready for bathing suit season. They worry about their guts, butts, and thighs and if their chosen swim attire for the summer will be flattering or self-esteem flattening.
Here’s something else women need to consider when preparing for swimsuit season: modesty. Really? Yep…let’s take a look at why:
Men’s brains are hard-wired to be sexually turned on by sight. They see a pretty lady and blood starts flowing to the sexual organs. The more they see of the pretty lady and the more they dwell on the thoughts of the pretty lady, the more the blood flows.
Let’s stop here for a minute. Men are responsible for their choices. They are not animals, incapable of restraining themselves from their base desires. Simply because their brains and sex organs get turned on by sight, does not give any man the liberty to take advantage of a woman or worse. Men need to own the way their brains operate and exercise self-control and respect and take responsibility for their actions. No man should be excused from rape, sexual assault, or sexual exploitation of a woman simply because of brain chemistry. Those behaviors are inexcusable.
Let’s think, however, of what a struggle it must be for men to keep their minds pure and their behaviors in check. Next time you’re out and about this summer, take a look around you at what the women you see are wearing. You don’t even have to be at the beach. Take a look at some of the prom pictures from April and May of this year on your friends’ Facebook pages. Look around as you walk through the mall. Or, simply look at the racks of summer clothing lines at any department store. Pay close attention to the pre-teen and junior sections.
What do you see? Skimpy, strappy bikinis priced way too high for what little amount of fabric they use. Daisy Duke jean shorts where the pocket material hangs lower than the hemline. Tube tops with not enough material on top and cut short enough on the bottom to reveal a belly button ring. V-neck shirts cut so low “the girls” may be struggling to stay hidden.
Now, if you’re not a man, put yourself in the shoes of a man you love. Look through his eyes as he walks through the mall. Victoria’s Secret and PINK on one side, Abercrombie & Fitch on the other. Store after store of advertising campaigns where you would think they were selling anything but clothing because their models are barely clothed. Look through his eyes as he walks past the Barnes & Noble magazine section where the models on the front are scantily clad and advertising the most satisfying sexual positions and how to talk dirty to your man. Look through his eyes at the beach where he may be trying to enjoy building a sand castle with his 4-year-old and his senses are bombarded with gorgeous, tan bodies frolicking in the surf with nothing more covering what should be their most private parts than a napkin size piece of material and cotton balls attached with string.
Is it a man’s responsibility to control and take responsibility for his behaviors? Absolutely. But what about the responsibility of the woman to control and take responsibility for hers? Again, no woman deserves to be abused or exploited. But women need to do their part to help our men be successful in the pursuit of sexual purity and clean-minded living.
If you struggled with overeating and everywhere you turned were messages about your favorite foods—funnel cakes, doughnuts, cotton candy, potato chips, chocolate, pies, cakes, cookies—it would be hard to resist, right? If you’ve ever tried to count calories and lose weight, you know it’s as much of a mental battle as anything and it nearly consumes your thoughts. Miserable, right?
That’s how a man feels living in this world when he is trying to keep his thoughts free from sexual impurity. If you were told to not think about blue elephants right now, guess what you’re going to have a hard time not thinking about…blue elephants. To simply tell a man to not think about sex is like telling a dog not to bark or a bird not to fly. They are supposed to do those things. That’s how they are created. It’s their nature. To say to a man, “It’s not my problem what goes through your mind. I should be able to wear anything I want and you just need to deal with it” is simply just not nice.
Next time you are selecting an outfit and think about the heads you’ll be turning when you walk in wearing that outfit, think about the thoughts that may be running through those turning heads. Do you really want a man to think of you like that? Do you really want to be who that stranger is envisioning when he’s in his bedroom alone that night? If not, maybe try to find something a little more modest.
