As the final episode of Survivor aired recently, the network got just what it wanted. Family drama brings in good ratings. That’s why the nephew of one of the most notorious, scheming players, Russell Hanz, was asked to be on the show. Show producers hoped Brandon would play the game his uncle had in the past or that he would provide another form of commotion. He did exactly that.
Brandon burst onto the scene proclaiming that he was going to play differently than his uncle. He insisted he would play well, all the while keeping his integrity in tact. He prayed often and seemed to be deeply morally conflicted when he was faced with opportunities to lie and deceive. He cried often over his fight between good and evil. There were times when he floundered, even failed to win that battle.
He had his entire team talking about their faith in God and praying about how they played the game and even lived their lives. They even prayed about how they should vote and prayed to win the challenges they faced in the game. In the end, his tribe blind-sided him because he was too transparent and he felt betrayed. However, almost immediately he began talking about forgiveness.
Fast-forward to the show’s finale. Brandon was one of the players on which the show focused. They showed clips of him praying, in tears, and talking incessantly about integrity and being a man of honor. They poked fun at his attempts to live according to this faith in “a game.” When they asked him how his family responded to how he played the game, he said that most of them were unhappy with what they saw aired on the show. In fact, when the host of the show asked where Brandon’s family was in the audience, Brandon had to admit that none of his family was there other than his uncle Russell. They interviewed Russell and asked him what he thought of the way Brandon played. He turned to Brandon and asked him if he wanted him to critique his game as Uncle Russell or as Russell from Survivor.
As if you can separate one from the other. Russell went on to say that Brandon played the game all wrong. Guess he chose to critique as Survivor Russell.
Words and actions hurt just as bad whether you’re playing a game or a character or not. Brandon’s family “pulling” their support from him had to hurt. By watching the show, you could tell Brandon didn’t want to say much for fear of saying the wrong thing. Or maybe he was afraid of saying the right thing.
Check-out this video of Brandon on the red-carpet interview at the Survivor Finale this past season.
There are many times in our lives when we make choices about how we will live and ways we’ll act that will shape our reputations. So, what should happen when we make choices with which our families do not agree?
- Families should love unconditionally. This is a tall order. We tend to get rather agitated when people don’t behave in ways we think they should behave. When we get agitated we often respond with the silent treatment, verbal tirades, or worse. Unconditional love exists in spite of disagreements. It means that at the end of the day, even when we don’t agree, we treat each other the way we would like to be treated. We respond to one another with kindness.
- Families should be able to agree to disagree. There will be areas in which we will not all see eye-to-eye. We ought to be able to have loving conversations about these areas, but when we aren’t on the same page, we need to admit it and focus on something else in which we do agree. For example, if a loved one admits he or she is a homosexual and you believe homosexuality is a sin, a loving conversation about your difference should take place, but in the end, a loving relationship is what should remain. To yell, threaten, physically harm, or disown someone who behaves in ways contrary to your will only damages relationships and burns bridges. No one deserves to be treated inhumanely simply because they make choices with which you do not agree. Once someone knows where you stand on the topic, it may be best to leave it alone and spend your time and energy in the relationship on other things. Mark 3:25 says, “If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.
- Families should help each other stand up for the right things. When Brandon decided he wanted to try to play the game with honor, his family should have stood with him. Being manipulative and deceitful to attempt to win a million dollars should not be something we should encourage in other areas of our lives. We need to help our families do the right things, even if it means we won’t get ahead in the eyes of the world. Even if it means we are poorer, have to work harder, or are less successful by the standards of our society.
Please realize that these tips do not apply when people are engaging in illegal or abusive behaviors. It would be ridiculous to say that we should agree to disagree if someone is planning to commit a murder or steal from someone else. In fact, if there are major issues like this in your family, pursuing family counseling may be something that could help. If a family member decides to engage in these unlawful types of behaviors, while we take a stand on the right and wrong of their behaviors, we still need to love them. It is often that very love that turns our wayward family members around.
