Did you grow up in a household where you knew if you got in trouble at school that you’d get in trouble when you got home? Was your mom the favorite classroom parent because she brought in cupcakes for every class party and put together really cool treat bags for your friends? Did you respect your teacher as soon as you walked into the classroom simply because she was the teacher?
It seems times have changed. Teaching is probably one of the most underpaid, underappreciated vocations in our current society. We place a ton of responsibility on today’s teachers, but often don’t equip them to meet our expectations. Since when did it become acceptable for parents to delegate all of the responsibility for a child’s education to a nearly complete stranger and expect not to have to be involved in that process?
Parents, as busy as we are, have to find ways to be an active participant in their child’s education. As tired as we are when we come home from a full-time job, we cannot forget the fact that our children should be our first priority. We have to save enough strength and mental energy to find out about their day and figure out what we need to do with them to help them grow and develop.
Many times this comes in the way of helping with homework. Not every parent has a degree in math and understands Trigonometry. However, we still need to be asking questions and equipping our kids with the assistance they need to succeed. This may mean both parents going to parent-teacher conferences. Talk with your child’s teacher(s) about the areas in which he excels and/or struggles. Ask the teacher what you can do at home to help and then do it. Talk with the teacher about his/her needs in the classroom and if you can be of assistance. Not everyone can take time off during the day to be a special speaker or host a classroom party, but there may be things you can do during the evening or weekend that can help your child’s teacher carry the load of educating your child and 20 other children.
Talk with your child about what she feels she does well and where she feels she could use some extra help. What are her favorite subjects? Are there special things she can do to advance her learning in these areas (volunteering, shadowing a professional in that field, summer job or internship)? What are the subjects she is holding her breath to get through? Has she talked with the teacher about getting help? Is there a tutor available or a supplemental learning tool she can use to get a leg up on the tough subject matter?
Support your child’s teacher as much as possible. If your child comes home and says that his teacher hates him, don’t go into the parent-teacher conference ready to lay into the teacher. (Remember, there are probably times your child tells his/her friends that you hate them and are trying to make their life miserable when you’re simply doing your job as a parent. It’s all about perspective). Try to be objective and listen to the other side of the story. Maybe there is a personality conflict. If so, there are proper ways to handle this. Talk with both the teacher and your child about the difficulty and figure out ways to make it work. Don’t be too quick to assume that your child needs to change teachers (we all have to deal with people we don’t like in this world). If after trying a few options, there is still an issue that doesn’t seem to be remedied, talk with the principal (respectfully—remember, our children follow our example) about other solutions.
Communication is key—talking with your child and your child’s teacher will give you a wealth of information about how your child is doing, what your child’s teacher is doing, what the needs are and how you can help. It is almost guaranteed that if you communicate with your child’s teacher on a regular basis he/she will already feel supported and more likely to help your child as much as possible—all because you took the time to talk with them and show interest.
Sometimes parenting can be overwhelming. Lotus Group family counselors are here for you. Don’t go it alone. Call us to discuss how we can help you and your family.
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